Added: Melyssa Moreira - Date: 21.01.2022 20:59 - Views: 40287 - Clicks: 7129
Collaring is one of the biggest things in the BDSM community.
It can be erotic, romantic, or even degrading, depending on the individuals involved and the boundaries of the relationship itself. From my own research though, it primarily comes across as romantic and fun—but complicated. BDSM, like so many other things, has made its way, with movies and literature supporting it, into the mainstream.
But why would someone get into this into the first place?
And in particular, what has put collaring more in the spotlight? The shortest answer is nearly self-explanatory. There are many different types of collars.
Some say you can trace collaring all the way back to Anne Boleyn. In certain uses, it can unfortunately be traced through the various systems of slavery. But most people believe its use began as recently as the s. Moving forward from there, we can easily trace it to BDSM supporters in the gay community. Like various other parts of their lives, this sub-community conducted much of their events in secret. For some, collaring is comparable to marriage. We were learning skills and practicing on one another. The more we played, we realized that His role as a Dom was preferred and He wanted me to be his submissive full- time.
My Domme gave me to Him much like a father gives away his daughter at a wedding. We had a small collaring ceremony at Her home. He told me that he owned me. He purposely got a pink collar and leash because at the time I despised the color pink. He used it as humiliation. I spoke to Dr. Tracy Carlson, from her private practice as part of Connections Psychotherapy and Wellness myconnectionwellness.
So, part of my training is that I have to have knowledge of a of aspects of sexual health and pleasure, and part of that includes an understanding of diversities and sexual expression and different lifestyles, so that includes, but not necessarily limited to polyamory, BDSM, and that sort of area. Carlson treats everyone from individuals to providing therapy for couples including group therapy. So, it can a sensation of having something around the neck, it can be a form of breath play, or a source of restraint as well.
So, collars, when you think about it is a symbol of repression, when you think about it, right? Collaring your sub, some people might use a collar to help them to help get into different collaring your sub, different personas. Or a sub might take on, a submissive or slave personae when using a collar. With the dom getting into that hepace, of being confident, of having control, over the other person. He showed me all of it and it sounded awesome to me. I knew I wanted him right away and I was willing to do anything. I was instantly ready to wear a collar for him and be his.
I actually had my collar made by one of our friends. I was in service to them as they needed, excluding anything sexual. A collar I would wear when with them in our spaces together. Either one of them would put it on me when…and it would show that I belonged to them and the pack. It can be quite comforting. They might feel more attractive.
He accepted me. She felt protected, and freer. In my case, I felt more in control, and responsible for not just her well-being, but mine, too. The negatives associated with collaring have very little to do with the collaring itself and more to do with society, especially religion, Dr. Read all you can. Work through it. Collaring is not for everyone, make sure you both discuss boundaries and what you expect out of the collar BEFORE you lock it.
Just like with sex, marriage or other big decisions, you do not have to rush. This is the BDSM version of a wedding. People rush into things like this and in the process, they get hurt, and they hurt others. Jen, and also the Coalition for Sexual Freedom, along with the sex shop Dynamo which provides tons of sexual education collaring your sub.
Michael David Raso has worked as a writer, editor, and journalist for several different publications since graduating from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. If you like this piece, you can of his work here. Covid is challenging the way we conduct business. Please donate today to help us sustain local independent journalism and allow us to continue to offer subscription-free coverage of progressive issues. Powered by Pro. Share this Article. Leave a Comment Subscribe to Our Newsletter.Collaring your sub
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What Does it Mean When a Dom Collars a Sub?